Why Do Some Leaders Make Poor Decisions?

Sometimes leaders make poor decisions. Human history is littered with stories of decisions that make you wonder, Why did they think that would be a good idea?

“Leaders are human beings, just like the rest of us,” is what people often say. Indeed, it’s true that our tendency to see our leaders with halos around their heads is part of the trouble, but that doesn’t explain all of it. What follows are some dangers leaders face that can lead to poor decisions… more

How to Stop the Cycle of Disrespect

How do you react when someone is disrespectful towards you at work? It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of disrespect because our natural inclination is to respond aggressively or defensively.

This is because human beings tend to mirror each other. But with negative behaviours like disrespect, we often go a step further and escalate the situation. For example… more

A Leader’s Job: Finding Meaning in Helping Others Find Meaning

Do you find your work meaningful? There are undoubtedly many factors that influence whether you find meaning in your work – the balance between time spent alone vs. time spent with people, your stress level, and even the degree of novelty, creativity, and physical activity all seem to play a role. It’s important that the job fits with who you are.

Nevertheless, according to glassdoor.com, the career that is most satisfying to the greatest number of people is this: corporate recruiter… more

Do You Have to Like Your Colleagues?

As a workplace mediator I’m sometimes asked, “Do I have to like the people I work with?” I’m always tempted to tell them “No” – that they just have to do their jobs – but that wouldn’t quite be true. I say this because effective communication requires positive interactions among team members.

Imagine that Adrian and Bobby work for you, and they recently had a conflict with each other. Adrian feels like it’s been resolved, but Bobby doesn’t. As a result, Bobby’s negative feelings towards the whole thing turn into a dislike for Adrian. You discuss the conflict with them individually, but don’t seem to be getting anywhere. You even attempt to resolve it by telling Bobby, “Well, you don’t have to like Adrian, you just have to respect him.” In a way, that’s a good thing because at least you’re holding Bobby to a standard of respect. However… more

High Stakes Civility

When stakes are high and your performance matters most, you and your team will likely get stressed. But how will you treat each other? Will you all take a deep breath, make sure communication is respectful and straightforward, and motivate each other by using language that acknowledges that you’re all in it together? Or, will you become short with each other, feeling that you have less time to be polite, and causing you to become more terse with your instructions? Will your colleagues notice that the tone of your voice has changed? Will you find yourself giving more negative feedback than you normally would? Your answers matter… more

Develop Your Culture Through Conscious Onboarding

Think back to your first day at your current job. Were you greeted at the door with fanfare and taken for lunch? Or, were you shown to your workstation and given an employee handbook? How did the way people treated you make you feel about your new workplace? How did this affect your subsequent behaviour at work? more

How to Make Your Mission Meaningful

Your organization’s mission and values should provide clarity for workers, helping everyone “row in the same direction.” But sometimes they don’t.

I once worked in a human resources office with a multi-national corporation of 3,500 employees. I’ll call the company “Big International.” While Big was built on a foundation of hard work and had some good products that were prominent in the North American marketplace for a while (until they were beat out by price), there were some things happening there that disheartened me. 

Your organization’s mission and values should provide clarity for workers, helping everyone “row in the same direction.” But sometimes they don’t… more

5 Techniques to Help Fight Focus Fatigue

I gazed at the 30 expectant faces. I opened my mouth to speak but the words weren’t there. My sentences began with “Um,” or “Uuuh…”. I had written the presentation, but it was coming out as slowly as an 8-year-old goes to bed. When I finally found the words, they weren’t quite what I wanted to say. I tried to list the companies who had been my clients in the last year and struggled to remember more than 2 out of 4 of them. I would get an idea for a joke, but my timing was too hesitant.

I looked at my wife, who was recording the presentation so I could use the video to apply for my Certified Speaking Professional designation. I cast my eyes on a man in the audience who had the ability to hire me for considerably more work if I could impress him. But it wasn’t going to happen. Not today. What’s gone wrong? I wondered. What fuzzed-out my brain? more

10 Strategies for Detecting and Responding to Lying

Here’s the shocking news: We may not think of ourselves as liars, but we have all lied. Most of us lie just a little bit to make others feel better, simplify explanations by omitting details, or exaggerate to get a small reward such as admiration from our peers. Our own bending of the truth (lying) makes it difficult to spot and respond positively to more serious types of lying, such as compulsive lying… more

Guidance for Managing Your Team’s Emotional Climate

Great teams start with great leaders who give their team clarity of purpose, use intrinsic motivation as a primary motivator, and consider people’s personal work styles. Great Leaders provide an atmosphere where people can build quality relationships and engage in meaningful work. They encourage fun, collaboration, honest mutual feedback, and hold people accountable to get stuff done.

The bedrock of these behaviours can be found in a team’s emotion norms: how team members expect each other to respond emotionally to various events… more

Leadership Strategies for Reducing Resistance

When I started mediating, I found I was dealing with some very resistant people. I discovered firsthand that people who are angry, threatened, or scared will occasionally dig their heels in and hold on for dear life – sometimes to the point where they hurt themselves as much or more than they hurt the other party.

You’ve probably noticed that even when they’re not angry, people can be illogically resistant… more

How to Create a Culture Where Feedback Actually Helps

Most of us struggle with giving and receiving honest and mutual feedback. In his book, “The Five Dysfunctions of a Team,” author Patrick Lencioni deftly describes how an inability or unwillingness to engage in Honest Mutual Feedback (HMF) leads to poor performance. Lencioni provides some solutions, and organizations such as Pixar, Intel and George Mason University have developed additional techniques. These tools move us beyond our normal relational efforts of connecting, affirming, and determining status. Creating a culture of HMF takes effort, but the pay-off is a motivated, self-managing, and continuously-improving team. Here are seven important steps for creating such a culture… more

Inspiring Employees Through Your Story

I have two teenage boys. In 2017, this means I watch a lot of superhero movies. 

The superhero movies I like best are the origin stories, like Batman Begins or Antman, where the protagonist goes from being a relatively normal guy to a stupendous fighting machine. It’s hard to relate to movies that are only crazy, high-powered action, but seeing a regular person become a super-duper-world-protector can be quite rousing. 

When I worked at Palliser Furniture, Human Resources had a Palliser origin story. more

7 Steps for Controlling your Emotions

When you find yourself in a tough situation, the ability to master your emotions can mean the difference between success and failure. Here are seven steps for managing your emotions: more

5 Strategies for Improving Your Relationship with Your Boss

When you picture the person at work who will most impact your future, who do you see? For most of us, our relationship with our manager is the most important relationship we have at work. I believe we need to work to get it that relationship right. Here are five tips that will improve your relationship with the person that supervises you. more

3 Reasons To Confront Your Co-Worker

If your workplace is like most, people are too avoidant when it comes to conflict – even those who are more direct in their personal lives. That’s what Ralph Kilman, co-author of the world-renowned Thomas-Kilman Conflict Styles Inventory, found in a recent cross-organizational study. Too much avoidance means issues are swept under the carpet, contrary information is not shared, relational tension is not addressed and organizational performance suffers.

I’ll admit – there are times when I haven’t brought up concerns that were bothering me. more

Confronting Constructively: 4 Tips

In the social sciences, researchers determine the true impact of variable things by changing one variable and keeping everything else the same, then observing the result.

I experienced something similar recently when I was confronted by two very real people on the same day. I’ll call them Albert and Ziggy.  more

3 Ways to Avoid Conflict and Improve Relationships

“I wonder what’s it like to be married to you…” I turned. The workshop participant was behind me, to the side, looking thoughtful, pensive, and curious. It wasn’t a pick-up, but a pondering.

I have taught conflict resolution skills for 20 years and it’s a question I occasionally get asked.  more

Humor at Work: The Good, The Bad, The Ugly

What kind of jokes are healthy? What kind lead to good teamwork? Social scientist Rod Martin categorized humor into four categories and research on these four categories is being carried on throughout the world. While all of these categories can be good, too much of some can be dangerous. Below are the good, the usually good, and the slippery slope types of humor. more

Shake Up Your Habits – 7 Tips to Change Your Brain

Habits are hard to change, but I recently discovered a simple way to do so.

I went to Nepal for five weeks. As it turned out, we were there just before the earthquake struck. While there, we ate rice and lentils, tried to speak Nepali, used different money and experienced uncomfortable sleeping conditions.

When we came back home, we found that we hadn’t come back the same, more

Safety Through Mindfulness

I used to think mindfulness – bringing your focus to only the immediate present – was dangerous. If I think only of what’s happening in the moment, how will I plan for the future? I wondered. I considered the mindfulness technique of focusing on one’s breath to be equally unsafe: If I’m just thinking about breathing in and out, I won’t think about what I’m doing. I’ll have an accident! more

Focus on a Few Good Skills – What the NFL Teaches Us about Conflict Resolution

Coach Tony Dungy has won more games than any other coach in NFL history. Before Dungy NFL games were a matter of psyching out one’s opponent. Those with the most complicated and surprising plays won.

But Dungy didn’t want his players to know a lot of plays. He wanted them to know a few plays and do them automatically.  more

Missed Opportunity – Failing to See the Other Person’s Interests

The following is a true story told to me by a workshop participant. It is shared with permission but modified to protect the identities of the persons involved. The person who told it to me is “Caleb” in the story.

Alvin Zemlock sat behind his desk, and Caleb faced him. The Room was tense. Alvin was the founder and CEO of Zemlock construction. Caleb represented a union and saw Alvin as an enemy, and for good reason. Not only was Alvin’s company not unionized, Alvin had publicly spoken out against the union some years ago. So Caleb would have loved to see Zemlock unionize.

Caleb had been distributing union flyers in the Zemlock Construction employee parking area with pleasure. But moments later was ushered into the Zemlock Construction head office, face-to-face with Zemlock himself. What was the CEO’s plan, Caleb wondered. Did he intend to intimidate him? more